My head and my heart are kind in a battle today and I'm not sure wich one I want to win. Maybe one day they will agree with each other. But right now, they are not. For now, I'll just puff a cigar like a freight train and  maybe some day I will finally be at peace! If not, I won't be surprised because love can be both a gift and a curse. It's only a curse if your not careful enough. The saga of my life continues. The truth is I'm  tired of having to play this game just right always trying to get a royal flush just to get a pair of twos when I deserve the jackpot! Right now, I'm just royally flushed.
Once again...Guess who has failed at a relationship? I'll make it easy for you. That who, is me and no I'm not happy. Here I was with THE PERFECT GUY who was treating me better than anyone ever has and we had to end it!!!  What the hell? It comes down to being smart about things. He's a smart guy and so am I. I want kids someday and he just doesn't! How could we hold each other back?  I never thought I'd have to go through this. Oh and to top it off, he's my best friend. So he's going to be around. I tried to stay strong and not cry. But I did! And there I was in my footie pj's feeling like a total baby. I was one step away from a diaper change. Why can't my life just work out easy like it does for some people?! I really hope I did the right thing. At the moment I just feel like I threw a great person out of my life.

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Please excuse me for a breif rant on politics. Rest assured I will finish the rant up with something postitive. So just feel me out for a second. Here is where I stand. I've got it narrowed down to either Obama (democrat) or Stein (green party) for president. Let me assure you, it's really tempting to not even vote so it's kindof shocking that i'm even considering it! Why? Well i will tell you. Hold on. Gosh! I'm not a conspiracy theorist for the most part bc that makes you paranoid and bitter. But given what i know from when I was a bit of a conspirist, they make me livid and even sick! Seems worthless to vote in a congress of predetermined control freak liars, but I get pto to vote so why not go waste my time. Haha! I probabaly just made a few readers angry, but that's how I feel. So like I said, it's either Stein or Obama. And the rest of the candidates...I may vote Ron Jeremy bc election day is kindof a yearly reminder that my government is professionally raping me every day. I haven't heard much on Stein. But here's what I do know. She's for the green party. She wants to improve the economy the green way which is so right at least to me. No more mountain top removal or drilling and legalization of marijuana to improve our economy. But I don't see anyone voting for her anyways because low and behold someone who's not democrat or republican be considered by the people! Obama's ok at least we are seeing some change in the world. The fact that we voted a black president last election was amazing! I just wish we weren't so f'in separated with wars and constant disputes. 1<3 all the way. But that's just a quick rant. I hate to even mention politics, but I'm interested to see your opinion about Stein. well have a grand erection day...I mean election day! Time to go boat.

http://www.jillstein.org/  <---What do you think? Too bad she doesn't stand a chance. But maybe I'm wrong. I can be from time to time. lol.

Source: www.iwastesomuchtime.com

So by now you are probably wondering why I never post anything sad, dramatic, angry, or well...just negative in general. It's not that negativity never occurs in my life. I am human just like everyone else. But why focus on those sorts of things? They never do anything postitive in the world for you or anyone around you. And the more blessings you put out, the more you get back. Today someone gave back to me. This only happens once in a blue moon and when it does, it makes me just as giddy as a 6 year old! You see those flowers in the picture above? My boyfriend sent them to me at work today. That was so sweet and thoughtful. It's crazy...Here I am 25 years old, and I've never had a boyfriend buy me flowers. Now I'm that girl that's posting pics everywhere and freaking swooning! Get a grip Whitney! How embarrassing. But you know, we  might as well enjoy the little gifts life gives us because they over power the struggles ten fold. I may be broke and I may have bad luck. I may even get deathly ill some day.  But I know one thing, I'm happy to be breathing.